I have began writing a book these holidays. I was wondering if anyone could read the Prologue of the book I have written, and I ask for your opinions. I can only fit 2 pages on but if you could read it and give opinions I would be grateful!
The Others:
A steady stream of customers had made Alex’s day a long but relatively easy one. The air conditioner had long been broken and the ventilation ducts did nothing but blast hot air and foul smells of burnt burrito’s, and onion rings from the Mexican restaurant next door. “One chicken Supreme”, shouted Alex as he slid his final crudely made burger of the day down the order slide to Anna at the counter. “Thanks Alex”, Anna shouted, “You can be clocking off now; I’ll see you in the morning.”
Alex had worked in the “Go Fast”, burger bar in the food court for around 2 years now. The pay was steady but the work dull and monotonous. Alex was 37, although to anyone else he was 35. After his father’s death, when Alex was 16, his mother had bribed a doctor on the base to change his birth certificate to make him two years younger, so that his mother could continue getting benefit credits for two more years in order to sustain Alex’s two younger siblings; Shaun now 22, and Malia now 28. Ever since then, upon job applications, medical forms, licences, and work permits, Alex has put down his age at 35, for if he were to change it to his actual age; now that his mother no longer needs or would receive benefit credits, someone in the Buerea would notice and smell a rat. So for safeties sake he always put down that he was 35.
***
Alex lived in Base Conor, Latin for “venture”, on the planet Rodishia; a small and fertile planet (albeit a wet one) around 3 billion light years from Earth. The planet was colonised in 2056 by the three largest superpowers of earth at the time. China, India, and The Russian Federation. After a successful yet small colonisation of The Moon in 2036 by a collaboration between China and India, plans were made to colonise another planet; the newly discovered Rodishia. To the human race it was perfect for colonisation; fertile, with large traces of water, a cool yet comfortable atmosphere, a nearby sun and moon as well as a relatively level terrain. Within a year of its discovery by a Russian astrologist, a probe was sent to the planet in which it found evolved plant life, water with a high mineral count and oxygen. The problem was though that the oxygen was thin, to thin for human life to breath, yet enough for evolved plants to respire and to grow. By 2039, a collaborated launch of rocket “Rodishia” funded by China, engineered by Russia, and built and launched by India took off. The rocket was the largest and most expensive ever built, a 5 stage, 308 meter tall, fossil fuelled, “space vehicle”, in which carried nine men, three from each country, into space. The journey was plagued by technical difficulties and mishaps but after 3 months, 27 days, 12 hours and 5 minutes of flight, the crew had landed there module safely, but bumpily, down upon the surface of Rodishia.
The “Module” consisted of an oblong shaped container in which sat the first pre-fabricated pieces of the small base in which would be constructed upon the surface, and the dome shaped command pod, in which the 9 strong crew sat and controlled the Module during its flight. The construction of the “surface base” took only a day and contained sleeping and living quarters for the 9 men, as well as a control console with communication with earth. On 12th August 2039 extraterrestrial life was first discovered. On a routine material gathering exercise, 3 of the crew discovered a primitive, almost medieval like village beside the T junction of a small stream and a large fast flowing river. It is reported that the crew were met by a “Flock of evolved human like people, a crowd 30-40 strong, men, women and children.” Within 100 days, 3 more rockets were launched up to Rodishia, all containing more pieces of prefabricated structure to expand the Surface Base, in which the newly named “Human like creatures”, began helping to build. Interest back on earth increased to an astounding amount, as did the interest of other countries on earth, especially the United States, Great Britain, and France. By August 2040 both the “Collaboration” consisting of India, Russia and China, and the newly formed “Western Alliance”, consisting of The United States of America, Great Britain, and France” were both sending rockets to Rodishia at an astounding pace of 2 per month. Plans were soon formed to build a “Mega colony” in which both the “Collaboration” and “Western Alliance” activities would be based. It was planned to be built across the river from the Human Likes village, so that the Human Likes could assist in the construction. However communication and language barriers meant that time needed to be taken in educating the Human Likes to speak a universal language. (((((CANT FIT ANYMORE ON!)))))
Hey! I really like that! It is interesting and makes you want to read more and more!
oh and i never knew that you could spell this word differently colonisation, i was always taught colonization, but i googled it and it is not a mistake! ah good to learn something new today! haha!
Good luck to you 