Is it alright for me to be upset with a person about not giving me credit or am I being petty?
We’re not married but mature answers are desired
Although unfortunate, I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m in a serious relationship with someone that once had a serious drug addiction. The drugs and the dark life that comes with it, put him into a position where he ended up in rehab. All of his friends walked out of his life as well. He was left lonely and depressed. When he reached his lowest point, I actually visited him in the rehab and have been by his side ever since. My friendship and eventually relaitonship was a bright moment in his life. Once he got back on his feet, he decided to write a book about his experience to encourage people (especially children) not to go the same path that he did. He met his goal and self pubilshed the book.
The book is amazing and I’ve read it from front to back. However, what stood out to me is that while he thanks, mentions, and appreciates the friends and family that are part of his life and have been there for him – I am not mentioned. Not as a fictious name or even referenced somehow. I am just not mentioned at all. It is like I don’t exist. It is like he made a concious point to not include me. He is still in a halfway house now where at certain times of the day, emails are the best form of communicate for us. So, I emailed him twice explaining how I felt about not being mentioned. First, I approached it as a joke and then more seriously. He’s non responsive to those emails but replies to everything else.
Also, he always told me that he doesn’t want his private business out. Yet, there’s this book that speaks on relationships with his Ex’s and a drug addiction. I launched promotion for his book before I read it, now I feel like an idiot. There are also presentations that we are supposed to work on together and I don’t want to do those now. I would feel like a fool. It’s like I want to tell him to have the people that he mentioned in his book to work on the projects with him.
I’ll admit to once telling him to keep our relationship discreet but he could have gave me a thank you in the back of the book or presented me in the book as a character with another name.
I just can’t believe this…but I’m not sure if I’m reacting properly. This is why this world is turning into one where good people no longer help others
You seem to be taking this rather harder than is warranted. And it also seems he has removed you form his life. You cannot always expect people will be grateful to you or even considerate, as is the case here. You helped him, he’s better, now you need to move on and not keep dwelling and stressing over this, not one thing you can do about it, his ego has taken over.
November 29th, 2011 at 6:10 am
You seem to be taking this rather harder than is warranted. And it also seems he has removed you form his life. You cannot always expect people will be grateful to you or even considerate, as is the case here. You helped him, he’s better, now you need to move on and not keep dwelling and stressing over this, not one thing you can do about it, his ego has taken over.
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November 29th, 2011 at 6:18 am
If you told him to keep your relationship private and then get mad when he doesn’t mention you specifically, you are confusing him and he may now be afraid to say anything on the subject. He did mention you when he thanked his friends (you are a friend) and family for helping him.
Please don’t make a big issue of it, he is coming out of a bad time and he needs for you to continue to be supportive. People are still considered addicts even if they get clean because anything can make them return to their addiction so they will always need supportive people around them. You should never help others to get recognition, you should do it because it’s the right thing to do. It will return to you in some way.
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November 29th, 2011 at 7:06 am
sounds like he is using you. I would leave him because he is not worth it
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November 29th, 2011 at 7:53 am
I can actually understand you feeling a little hurt by not being mentioned by name however I think you are taking it a little too far. You did ask to keep your relationship discreet but then turn around and want a public acknowledgement of thanks? That makes no sense at all.
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November 29th, 2011 at 8:35 am
The point of the book was to scare people off drugs. A happy ending where you meet a girl and everthing turns out alright seems counter productive. It may be he decided to leave you out of the book for that reason. Either way, what does the book matter ? Are you with him only because you want to feel like you’re doing some great thing helping out this drug addict, or wanted to be mentioned in the book ? Or are you with him because you enjoy his company ?
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Tell me who the ruler is, so I can stay away from them.
November 29th, 2011 at 9:20 am
I do understand how you feel; of course you haven’t been helping him in the hope of seeing your name in lights, but it’s hurtful and surprising when it seems he doesn’t want to tell people how helpful you’ve been, even under a fictitious name. If I’ve understood correctly, you’ve only emailed him about this, not spoken to him directly. I think that has to be the next step. Face to face with him you may get a better idea about his feelings and reactions. Wait and see how that goes before you get too angry; and remember the man is still not one hundred percent recovered.
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